Article Written by: Akudosochim Agokei
I am going to be honest with this post, I am going to be honest and start with a little description of my background, and of the things I have done. You see, I am not a perfect Christian, and although yes, there is no perfect Christian, I want you to know where I am coming from, so that after what you read here today, you know that I speak from experience. Focusing on the ladies in my family: I have 3 "pain-in-the-neck" sisters and a very beautiful mother (whom I am eternally grateful to God for the little wisdom I possess), so I have observed some females and their reactions to different situations, fashions, people, and themselves. I could probably say I had a solid idea about how women wanted to be treated. I grew up a mummy’s-boy and had so much love for my her (I once hated my father for weeks after I saw her cry!!). My mother taught me the respect I should have for a woman, whether she be my friend, my girlfriend, or my wife, but this did not stop me from objectifying women, no, no, no way, I threw it out the door, promoting the very issue I am here to speak about today: 'The Discounted Woman'.
One way today’s society and media has succeeded in degrading women is by influencing how they dress, and many have followed this trend seeking the fool’s gold that lay at the end of tunnel, only to discount themselves. Ladies, let us explore three viewpoints (from my perspective, of course):
Most men ride off the energy given by women; as you present yourself, so shall we treat you. No woman should present herself a lady and allow herself be treated like a girl, a mere child, same also, no woman should present herself in a lesser manner and expect to be treated more, it rarely happens. Some outfits ladies wear are too revealing, and it should not be so as our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and revealing so much is inviting the wrong crowd. Christian women, or in short, ALL WOMEN should always keep in mind that there are rich men, and there are poor men, rich and poor in the sense of the ‘Word of God’, a man rich in the Word knows what to look for in a woman, and according to Proverbs 31, he knows it is not in the jewellery that she wears, or how much skins she reveals, but the manner in which she holds herself. A lady can adorn herself with the finest gold to convey beauty, outward beauty, but there is no beautifying insecurity and the more you show, the more insecure you seem. Society makes us think that we need to be magazine certified and approved before we can be called beautiful. That’s a lie. Society says, showing too much only means a woman is comfortable with her body, wrong as well, you can be well-clothed and be comfortable with your body, and you can be well clothed and be the most beautiful lady in the room.
Why discount yourself? Let me explain it this way: You are worth more than gold and have no price, and only the men that can grasp your value will want you cause they know your worth, but assume you begin to show too much, dress in a provocative manner because you wonder why the other females are attracting attention, or why Rihanna is being labelled as the most beautiful woman in the world by some magazine she posed in a provocative outfit for, and you think it is because they dress ‘sexy’, so you emulate this behaviour. You are now fixing a price on yourself and have degraded your worth into fitting in the price-range of the men that can afford provocative ‘sexy’. Don’t settle, don’t discount your worth.
I was with my girlfriend in her cousin’s house and noticed her cousin’s young daughter singing along to a One Direction song playing on the TV. She had no idea what the lyrics meant or the context of the song, but she loved the rhythm, the band, and that was enough to make her facial expression seem like the angels of God had personally delivered One Direction and the song to us here on earth. The last born of my sisters is 14 years old, and I try to impact her with as much wisdom as I can, I pray for her, and try to guide her judgement and perspective on life, but as a male, there is only so much I can do. She looks up to my older sisters and what they do she does, what they say she says, she is even starting to sound just like them, which is why I added her under the ‘pain-in-the-neck’ category.
Basically, kids learn from the older generation, especially females learn from older females, and the males from older males. One reason, I believe ladies should dress in a respectful manner is also to teach the younger generation that will watch them that they don’t need to show their bodies to become favoured or acceptable, that they don’t need to be provocative to be ‘beautiful’, that they should present themselves in the highest manner so they can be respected, dress in a dignified manner and exalt themselves by the words of their mouth and the fruits of their minds and not by the skin they reveal, and that they, never, ever, discount their worth.
I believe that women need to be an example to other women, if you are not to going to empower yourselves to dress in a dignified manner, do not expect the men to do it, because most of us men like the skin we see, and when we are tempted, we would empower you to fuel our temptations. I have not once complained about how my girlfriend dresses, and I am proud of how mature she carries herself and how beautiful and dignified she looks with every outfit she puts together, I love how she shares the same passion of women dressing like the queen that they are, and I hope and pray that every woman can one day, share that same passion and encourage their fellow women to do the same.
If I could turn back the hands of time, I would, I would take back the sinful acts I did; but honestly, if I could go back, what is to stop me from doing it again, what is to stop me from seeing half-naked girls and getting aroused? One thing would for my experience: if the females I came across had presented themselves in a very noble fashion which was not discounted to my filthy taste. Now I am not saying that man is not at fault for the sinful desires in his heart, all I am saying my beloved ladies, is not to fuel it, for it will cost our dignities and that of future generations, and lots more.
My name is Akudosochim Agokei. People call me Akudo. I am a 23 Year old Financial Economics student working as a junior economist for the Office of National Statistics, UK and an entrepreneur, I own (Makol Classy) MKCL Clothing. I love God and I love Him dearly because I am a sinner that receives grace and mercy continually, even when I do not ask for it. I love thinking, singing, football and designing concepts for clothes. I can be reached through Facebook under the name ‘Akudo Sochim Agokei’ , I love discussing the bible, life, love, basically any topic that challenges what I know and teaches me while doing so, my dream is to own one of the world’s biggest clothing lines, and help others with it.