Can I be real with y'all again? Cool, so here's another life story, lol ;-) There was a period when I couldn't go out without make up, as in noneeee! I remember this one day, I think it was a year after I got Saved, I put on a TON of makeup, as in, I CAKED IT UP GOOOOOOOODDDD!!!! (for those who don't know what that means, it means to put on a lot of make up!!) As in, Smack smack smack buttered-it-up-on my-face-type-of-make-up; and that day I felt the Lord say: "You're not going out like that...,"
And I paused and said, ".....um....?"
Yes, that actually happened. :)
Now, the Holy Spirit was not happy by this, but felt hurt. There was no time for debate because it wasn't even 2 minutes before I headed to my make-up wipes and I took off all my make-up. I went back to the mirror and heard the Lord say, "you're beautiful." Tearing up, I remember Him just repeating how beautiful I was. He was so gentle and comforting, knowing that this was going to be something that would take time to unpack, and so He took His time in unpacking it with me. I did have peace about putting on just "enough" afterwards because this was not a make-up issue, but in that moment, a heart issue (i.e the REASON I was putting make-up on at that particular time).
You see, God was telling me that He REALLY knew me and that if the people I was going to face (no pun intended) needed to be impressed by how I looked on the outside then they didn't know me and it wasn't worth that kind of effort.
Now, I still wear make up (like the pic to the left! lol!) because I love being creative and I think it's amazing how all these colors/designs were created (please remember this in case you see me next time with tons of make up on LOL!! ) and I absolutely LOVE to dress up and have fun with it and be all sorts with it, but I now do it for the "right" reasons, i.e. my heart is checked each time I do that. I also don't wear make-up when I want to as well, it's no longer a struggle :) It's now about the heart issue.
Does that mean we don't make mistakes and wear a bit too much sometimes and people laugh and say 'aha clowwwwnnnnny!'? No, But we still learn from those mistakes, just like every other trail and error, and we get back up and we move on from that afterwards ;-)
I will try to tell the story of how God unpacked this journey with me of insecurity and how He took me towards a journey of loving myself! If you know me, you can ask me about this, I'd be happy to tell you about it - even over coffee if have to! :) Even if you don't know me, message me, I'd still love to tell you about this and we can just sip our coffee - virtually! :P :)
Now, my main point here is that: 'don't put on make up for anybody else. Don't put on make up for your boyfriend, for your friends, for your family, for your relatives, IF your heart isn't right. It's a burden. There's a difference between putting on make-up because you want to look nice for a function, and then putting on make up because you think people will like you if you looked nice. The main thing here is about not 'people pleasing'. :)
When we talk about the heart issue, it can mean a few things, which may include these two:
Knowing that at the end of the day, it's between you and God. Meaning that even if you looked absolutely amazing on the outside, the inside is what matters most and that's what God looks at. Remember the story of Samuel anointing the next king? It's sort of like that. :P
It's like we said before, assessing why we are doing something, whether we are doing it to please God, (i.e. to the Glory of God), or for people. There's freedom in knowing that you don't have to live to satisfy wavering opinions.
It should be the same for us. When we put on make up, it could be used as an expression or to enhance our features. Depending on the person, perception, culture, the definition of what this means will vary, however, and sometimes, you'll put on less or more than others, but it should be that at the end of the day, you're naked before God, able to be who you are.
I'm not saying that we'll be all perfect now and there won't be days where we want to hide our dark under-eyes! Or wear giant sunglasses because you just pulled an all-nighter to finish your essay *yikes!* (Let's be real people!!!) But what I AM saying, is more times than none, let's do it to express ourselves and enhance our features and be who we are instead of putting on a mask to portray something we're not.
If you are the girl who puts on makeup to express her inner self, do that. If you're the girl who hates make up, be that as well, but whether you're one or the other or in-between, don't judge the other, be who you're supposed to be and meant to be in Christ Jesus.
P.s! Last year I wrote a song about this make up issue and I'd love to share it with you!! Keep a look out - I can't wait to share it with you. :)
Why do you put on make up? If you do put on make up for the so called 'wrong' reasons, do you think it's time to start to unpack those underlying things? Write these down and start unpacking them with God. Start being real with yourself about why you wear make up and start uncovering yourself with these things even if its for fun (i.e. the right reasons!).
"If ever there were a perfect matchmaker, it would have to be God. He knew Adam more intimately than Adam knew himself, and He knew just what Adam needed in a spouse. So when God surveyed creation and saw that it was “not good” for Adam to be alone, He created a spouse that would perfectly complement him." -John Greco
When I read the above quote I said: YES JOHN GRECO! EXACTLY! That's how I've been feeling all this time! THANK YOU!!
Then I took some time to calm down, and realize that I had to do a post about this very topic.
These Are Some
Reasons Singleness is Beneficial:
1. God's Timing Is Perfect:
Don't succumb to pressure or do it for others. Marriage is for LIFE, not the next 2 years or two months until you quit. It takes time to get to know someone else, so it will take time to know yourself. I agreed with Jamie Grace when she says that she's not single because she has to, but because she chooses to be.
It's until God says you're ready to get married ;-). It's easy to try to make things happen, but when we do it, we get it all wrong, so why not wait for our Maker to make things happen? He does in fact, know your future spouse and you more than you will ever do, why not let Him lead you to it?
2. You're A Work In Progress And So Is Your Future Spouse:
I'm not saying that that's the reason you're single, otherwise you'd be single forever. LOL.
What I'm saying is, don't look for a therapist but someone to be your best friend and do life with. That means, while you're given this present gift of being single, you can work through any past matters, and get to grow in many areas that will benefit both of you when you do get married. God uses many situations to prepare us for marriage, so ask Him to prepare you in His way. Also, with life's ups and downs, you really don't want to save all the stchufff for him when God can prune bits of you now. Going through life with God show you how to do life with your spouse in the future.
3. There's A Reason For Singleness:
When God presented Eve to Adam, He didn't say, "Oh Snap, forgot to give her to you a long back, here you go man.." no, He perfectly HAND-CRAFTED her to FIT HIM…and THEN presented her to him. And while Adam was "waiting" (or until he realized that other animals had a companion to enjoy life with...), he had been doing what the Lord had told him to do (e.g. the Lord told him to name the animals, and that's the last work he was doing until the desire was put in him and God chose a time to present Eve to him). All the work Adam was doing beforehand prepared him for what was to come. If he hadn't known what it was like to just spend time with God, or how to do the things God had led him to, it would've been a different process.
So ask the Lord what He wants you to do whilst you wait. Read the Word, study Proverbs 31, study the Bible, the women in the Word, serve, etc.
4. We Need To Know WHY We Want To Get Married:
For a while before I got Saved, I would either say, "nah, not for me.." or "when I'm 30"…stuff like that, and I'm even seeing 5 year olds and their mama's mama wanting to get married! Basically, I mean, it's the "fashion" statement, we want to do it because we see others getting married, or some people are pressuring you to do so and they say, "so when are you getting married?" Don't succumb to the pressure, this is a precious gift to be opened delicately. It's insane that seeing it all around us makes us want to get married ASAP, BUT do know that your desire is also a God-given desire, so praise be to God for that! Amen.
God changed my perspective after I got Saved and He can change yours too. He can birth a whole new fire and desire that is so passionately and wonderfully from Him, showing you that your God-given desire is a gift from the Almighty. It's amazing what God can do to our hearts to realize how wonderful marriage truly truly is and what HE designed it for, that's why it's important to ask our Maker to teach us what marriage is for, and to give us clearer understanding.
5. It's Never Too Early To Start Preparing:
But ask God to start preparing you.
Please be prepared to go through some trials that will adjust your life lens. All in all, its so Christ can be shine through, and so we can be more like Him. Amen to that.
Have you ever made past mistakes? Have you ever just wanted time to discover the 'you' in Christ or the unique you? Well you're not alone. Do that now, this is the season. You don't want to be going through an identity crisis when you walk down the isle, saying: "oh wait, I do, but I don't, but… but.. I'm only 20, but…I'm not sure…get me outta here! *run!!*" you want to walk down the isle saying: "God bless my marriage to this wonderful man! I'm ready, and you've prepared us, neither of us are perfect, but we're ready for this ride and we want to thank you for being with us through the whole process of singleness and courting, you are for us and not against us! Amen let's celebrate!" And then you both skip towards the rainbow...
Well…something like that ;-)
I guess the moto is: Do you, be you, be who Christ created you to be, it's the time to rest in that now ;-)
"This is the day the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
6. Your Prayers Have Power To Change What's To Come:
Pray pray pray! You know how you love it when people pray for you? Well…I'm sure some people get offended when they hear, "I'll pray for you'', but what a great and marvelous gift that you can give to someone! Praise be to God!
Your future spouse is going to be as human as they come! haha! So PRAY; not for him to be perfect, but that he'll be perfect for you and that God's Hand is on him always. He also has life struggles just like you, so pray for him. Our prayers have impact, they are not void, God hears them and you can be praying for things like: "Lord, guide him and help him to make wiser decisions etc." Ask God how to pray for him, you'd be surprised at some instances where He lays on your heart to pray for a very specific thing. You can also look up prayer lists online, for example, 16 Ways To Pray For Your Future Husband. Do remember that as you pray for him, you too need to be praying for yourself. :) #JussSayin'… ;-)
7. Jesus Should be The Centre Of Your Life Now Instead Of Waiting For Mr.Right To Lead You To That:
Like I said, neither you and your spouse will be perfect, so why not take the time to make Jesus the centre of all you do and are whilst you're single? It's a good time to walk with Him, talk to Him, make Him your Best Friend (I'm not saying this will end when you get married, but better to start when you're single because your foundation will be different, and you can learn how your heart has different compartments that need be filed differently). Ask Him about submission, what that means Biblically, about world views versus Biblical views, how you make your decisions, etc.
Remember that a lot of our views will change as we grow in Christ. A lot of my views have changed since last SUMMER, man, even from 1 month ago! LOL. Expect marriage to be like that. It's not that you'll be debating about whether Jesus is real (because that will be the very foundation of your very being and marriage), but it will be realizing that your former perceptions will develop and alter over and over because you are merging with another person, and not only that, but Christ will continuously give you revelations about Him and Life, which you will continuously (and wonderfully) have to be shifting and understanding about. He'll give you the Grace for that and everything else, so don't worry, it will all work out in the end, and it will be so much fun because you'll have both of your best friends with you along the way! The main thing is that you are GROWING, and maturing. That's what matters that most ;-)