Can I be real with y'all again? Cool, so here's another life story, lol ;-) There was a period when I couldn't go out without make up, as in noneeee! I remember this one day, I think it was a year after I got Saved, I put on a TON of makeup, as in, I CAKED IT UP GOOOOOOOODDDD!!!! (for those who don't know what that means, it means to put on a lot of make up!!) As in, Smack smack smack buttered-it-up-on my-face-type-of-make-up; and that day I felt the Lord say: "You're not going out like that...,"
And I paused and said, ".....um....?"
Yes, that actually happened. :)
Now, the Holy Spirit was not happy by this, but felt hurt. There was no time for debate because it wasn't even 2 minutes before I headed to my make-up wipes and I took off all my make-up. I went back to the mirror and heard the Lord say, "you're beautiful." Tearing up, I remember Him just repeating how beautiful I was. He was so gentle and comforting, knowing that this was going to be something that would take time to unpack, and so He took His time in unpacking it with me. I did have peace about putting on just "enough" afterwards because this was not a make-up issue, but in that moment, a heart issue (i.e the REASON I was putting make-up on at that particular time).
You see, God was telling me that He REALLY knew me and that if the people I was going to face (no pun intended) needed to be impressed by how I looked on the outside then they didn't know me and it wasn't worth that kind of effort.
Now, I still wear make up (like the pic to the left! lol!) because I love being creative and I think it's amazing how all these colors/designs were created (please remember this in case you see me next time with tons of make up on LOL!! ) and I absolutely LOVE to dress up and have fun with it and be all sorts with it, but I now do it for the "right" reasons, i.e. my heart is checked each time I do that. I also don't wear make-up when I want to as well, it's no longer a struggle :) It's now about the heart issue.
Does that mean we don't make mistakes and wear a bit too much sometimes and people laugh and say 'aha clowwwwnnnnny!'? No, But we still learn from those mistakes, just like every other trail and error, and we get back up and we move on from that afterwards ;-)
I will try to tell the story of how God unpacked this journey with me of insecurity and how He took me towards a journey of loving myself! If you know me, you can ask me about this, I'd be happy to tell you about it - even over coffee if have to! :) Even if you don't know me, message me, I'd still love to tell you about this and we can just sip our coffee - virtually! :P :)
Now, my main point here is that: 'don't put on make up for anybody else. Don't put on make up for your boyfriend, for your friends, for your family, for your relatives, IF your heart isn't right. It's a burden. There's a difference between putting on make-up because you want to look nice for a function, and then putting on make up because you think people will like you if you looked nice. The main thing here is about not 'people pleasing'. :)
When we talk about the heart issue, it can mean a few things, which may include these two:
Knowing that at the end of the day, it's between you and God. Meaning that even if you looked absolutely amazing on the outside, the inside is what matters most and that's what God looks at. Remember the story of Samuel anointing the next king? It's sort of like that. :P
It's like we said before, assessing why we are doing something, whether we are doing it to please God, (i.e. to the Glory of God), or for people. There's freedom in knowing that you don't have to live to satisfy wavering opinions.
It should be the same for us. When we put on make up, it could be used as an expression or to enhance our features. Depending on the person, perception, culture, the definition of what this means will vary, however, and sometimes, you'll put on less or more than others, but it should be that at the end of the day, you're naked before God, able to be who you are.
I'm not saying that we'll be all perfect now and there won't be days where we want to hide our dark under-eyes! Or wear giant sunglasses because you just pulled an all-nighter to finish your essay *yikes!* (Let's be real people!!!) But what I AM saying, is more times than none, let's do it to express ourselves and enhance our features and be who we are instead of putting on a mask to portray something we're not.
If you are the girl who puts on makeup to express her inner self, do that. If you're the girl who hates make up, be that as well, but whether you're one or the other or in-between, don't judge the other, be who you're supposed to be and meant to be in Christ Jesus.
P.s! Last year I wrote a song about this make up issue and I'd love to share it with you!! Keep a look out - I can't wait to share it with you. :)
Why do you put on make up? If you do put on make up for the so called 'wrong' reasons, do you think it's time to start to unpack those underlying things? Write these down and start unpacking them with God. Start being real with yourself about why you wear make up and start uncovering yourself with these things even if its for fun (i.e. the right reasons!).
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Side note: I love this quote!
So....The other day I was about to post something on Facebook, and thought to myself: "woah, what are people going to think of me?" and then I was like: "Woahhhh why am I thinking about what people will think of me?"
And yes, the woaaaah's continued on like a Californian surfer-dude.
And that's The End. :-)
"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ" -Galations 1:10
Let me be real with y'all, about life.
We've all been there, I know I have, and it's going to probably happen in the next five minutes for somebody out there, because it's life. It's about constantly re-evaluating by asking yourself: "why am I doing this? Why am I saying this? Am I trying to please people? Or am I trying to please God?"
People-pleasing, for me, generated from a long time ago, one of the reasons was from high school.
I thought because certain people didn't like me for me, I had to be a certain way, so I thought that I had to impress "them". "Them" were people who were not worth considering when it came to the opinion of who I really was, but I was yet to discover that truth in Christ. It was until I realized I had people around me who actually loved me for who I was, and yet I had been wasting my time trying to please those who were never going to be pleased even if I had hopped onto a trapeze and then juggled all the way home. Good fun. I know.
Would it have been worth the effort? No way. I would have just ended up exhausted, because in their mind, they had already concluded that I wasn't good enough. So the problem wasn't with me, it was with them along with the stagnant conclusion they had already formulated about me. It became my problem the moment I decided that I would feed into it and suppress my authentic self because it wasn't what they wanted.
We all have our story about why we people-please, and it's just a matter of being vulnerable, and telling the truth about it. I hope that something here encourages you to do so with yourself, and with others.
Okay, now on to the next bit.
Sometimes people may try to make it seem like there is something wrong with you when really its due to their story, their past.
Remember that people who try to intentionally exclude or emphasize anything about you also have a story they are feeding from, so don't expect it to always be about you.
Regardless of the circumstance you may be going through, know that you ARE MORE than enough. You ARE talented enough. You ARE gifted enough, and there's no need to work hard for those things or continue to say things in order to please people. Who you are in Christ is more than enough. Remember that God doesn't look at the outside, but the heart. When He sees you, He sees you as already beautiful, completed, done, redeemed, forgiven, His Child, and many more wonderful aspects! And if you're going to change anything, do it for yourself, and to God's glory, not for others. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're normal, and a beautiful work in progress.
We all fall short, and are broken. We all feel low sometimes, we all run away sometimes, we all get sick and tired of this world at times. We ALL, all of us, go through this, so you are not alone in this. Some people pretend, and that's fine for them because they're going through a season, but know that you are not alone.
"So what now?"...I guess the answer comes from the Word, doesn't it? ;-)
I read Psalm 119:23-24 the other morning, which says: "Though rulers sit together and slander me, your servant will meditate on your decrees. Your statues are my delight; they are my counselors." Amen!
God is the one we should run to and aim to make our audience and delight.
The verse above talks about how David couldn't even go to other people because even those people were slandering him, but He knew that in the Lord, in the Word, in the presence of the Almighty Savior, He could find refuge, peace, comfort and direction on what to do.
It can be tough sometimes. Heck, life is tough, but with Jesus, I can assure you, He can even turn that whirlwind into a party fest, still filled with joy even when people are trying you constantly. ;-) Amen.
So, this being real thing, It's kinda challenging eh? Well, I'm with you on that one sistah ;-) and brother, and you know what, I read an article about how we get scared to be real because we are scared to risk being hurt. The article went on to say that we are going to be hurt, at some point or another. Writer, Andy Gill quoted Sherry Turkle, who said, "who said that a life without conflict, without dealing with the past, or without rubbing up against troublesome people is better?" Amazing, isn't it? I love it. I'm ready to enjoy this crazy life journey, who's with me? ;-)
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33 Amen!
So, I CHALLENGE you, sister, brother, to be real this week. I CHALLENGE you to start that with God. Start with God and be real with Him (or to help you unpack that) about your life struggles, about what you're going through, and watch Him take you on a journey you'll never regret. Cry out to Him if you have to. Be real. Tell Him how you feel.
So, who's with me? ;-)
JOURNAL IT OUT!!: Write about an instance where you people-pleased. What had happened? Why had you decided that you were going to please these people? Do you feel that maybe there is some underlying issue that needs more healing? Ask God about it. What positive steps are you going to take now that you know these things? Ask God about it, and talk about these with Him, He'll lead you on what to do next. What are some practical steps that you can take to stop people-pleasing? Journal it out! Amen.