One day I cried out to God, “Please, Get me out of here!” Spiritually, mentally and emotionally I was spent. So many incidents had led to my current conundrum; finding out about my husband’s affairs and potential other child, lack of self-value, not enough income, uninformed decision making and unresolved emotions to name a few. Even my enthusiasm for my cleaning company I enjoyed so much in the beginning was starting to wane in my mind. I had a lifetime of working in positions but up to this point not a whole lot of satisfying works. My dilemma was buried under my titles of wife, mother of a very blended family, pastor’s wife, minister and usually whatever else I needed to be at the time. These cycles were going to cause me to crash and burn if I didn’t do something fast.
Let Me Off This Rollercoaster Please!
After a couple of months, I moved out of what I knew as home and into a small apartment with my kids and the work began. The immense grief of the days ahead gripped me. My family as I knew it seemed to have been ripped away and I had been abandoned, betrayed, rejected and even more ridiculed. My heart cried for change for myself and my family, but I knew the work would have to start with me. I made a decision to get spiritually and naturally in-tune to where I was as a person and where I wanted to go: I knew that there was more to my faith and my life than this! I was missing something but what was it? My dreams of becoming a life coach; traveling speaker and servant in ministry seemed as far away as the Land of Oz.
My bridge to breakthrough would come from some deep soul searching and healing. The only way off the rollercoaster of repeat was to get off and commit to doing the work. I knew about the pit and the prison, and I was ready for some palace moments in my life.
Time for Work
This is never easy but necessary. To say the days ahead for me were trying is a colossal understatement, some days I thought I was losing it but I had found the missing piece. It was time to unpack the pain through prayer, bible study, support meetings and some very candid conversations. Out of this intentional time of what I like to call soul-work, I re-wrote a book and a follow-up work book. This was a great turning point but I still experienced inconsistent revenue and had yet to breakthrough into fully realizing my dreams of healthy relationships, speaking, financial wellness and coaching. So, where would I go from here? How could I or anyone else breakthrough? Well, there are several ways but let’s narrow them to three steps that revolutionised my existence:
Renew- renew your mind concerning your value. You are partially here not just because of what someone did to you but in some cases, what you allowed to happen over a period of time. You matter, act like it! By renewing your mind about your value and taking responsibility for where you are, you take power for your life. Be honest about where you have allowed people to de-value you and where you have devalued yourself or played small, then build yourself up and stay there. Protect your precious soul-work. The renewal stage includes getting rid of the victim mentality and taking ownership for knowing yourself, your needs and desires. You are God’s masterpiece!
Rededicate- Re-dedicate your efforts to dream again and take responsibility to write your life vision and make it plain so you can go with it! Do you need to go back to school? Change careers? Start a business? This is where you become intentional about what you want and how you want to feel. You can do this by creating a vision board, taking a life-skills class, most importantly get around other like-minded people on the journey to purpose. Keep toxins out! Even when you miss your target and you sometimes will; use mistakes and problems as fuel to learn new lessons on your journey of purpose, adding to your expertise. Pastor John Ramsey says, “When things go wrong, don’t go with them.”
Rhythm- Once you’ve gained momentum, keep it at strong regular repeated patterns to see results. Accept your life’s new rhythm it will give voice to your purpose! Unearthing pain and unprofitable habits helps you to clearly see how massively creative you are and that you were born for good works! Your new rhythm will look a lot like new circles, new jobs, and new freedom’s new doors opening, all to make room for the gifts you’ve discovered. If you allow, this new rhythm will give voice to your pain and purpose when given the right opportunity.
When you need a breakthrough, a common misconception is that it is an “aha moment” and it happens overnight. Breakthrough is as much about process as it is progress. I still had my cleaning business and my first speaking engagement did not come for months but I remained faithful in my giving and new healthy habits. When I walked in the auditorium to speak on breakthrough, I was a different person. I courageously stepped up to purpose and finished the assignment and I was blessed with an honorarium of $400! I opened myself up to answer God’s call on my life and increase showed up. So when you are tempted to give in to frustration because things aren’t moving fast as you’d like, maybe step away and check your state of mind; commit to praying, reflecting, and recalibrate by remembering how far you’ve come and where you want to go from here. You are worth the effort to advance your dreams and get off the rollercoaster of repeat and on to your purpose.
Kimberly Lee is a transformational leader, author and the director of the Bridge to Breakthrough Experience. She is fiercely committed to those who are processing their pain and yet pursuing their purpose so they can come into their own value, voice and life vision. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Business Management, runs a small company, and in her spare time you can find her spending time with family, creating videos for social media, teaching classes and honing her coaching skills. For more information and her book, you can find her on her website.