"Words without Power just evaporate. words only hurt when you let them matter. Don't let them matter, it's only chatter"-Katherine Mcnamara
PLEASE NOTE: When I talk about bullying, I'm not talking about teasing, or the 'casual' every day bickering between friends. There are debates of what bullying consists of, however, I do believe that one knows what it is, when it happens.
I recently watched the move 'Contest', and after watching it I was inspired to write this blog post. I really encourage you to watch it, and if you're a parent, I encourage you to watch it and pass this forward to your son/daughter as it will help both of you to engage in some type of conversation about bullying. :)
Here are 10 ways To Beat Bullying's FACELESS Chatter!
1. Those Who Are Brought Down Have The Incredible Potential To Being Something Greater.
You are who you are for a reason. There would not be adversity if you did not stand out or stand up for something. Behind the scenes, the 'enemy' wants you, but you are not destroyed. In Christ, you are a victor.
2. Bullies Have Problems As Well, Otherwise They Would Not Do What They Are Doing. At some point in the movie, a kid thinks his "new friend" is really his authentic friend, when really he isn't. The kid believes it and even ends up standing up for his "new friend" even though his girl friend tried warning him that she sensed something was off about the guy's loyalty. I remember when I had the dilemma of the girl who used her words to bring me down. I knew about her story, so it made it easier for me to excuse her behavior, knowing that she was hurting. We tend to do that as a human race, but at some point: LET GO. It's not YOUR story, it's THEIRS, you don't have to be a part of it if it's toxic to your life. Let Go and Let God.
3. Go To People Who CARE About You. I do understand that sometimes lines can be blurred as in recent days we use 'frenemy' as a casual term (*shaking my head*). Yes, it takes discernment, because you deserve better. Remember that some people just don't care, or pretend to, so go to those who do, even if it's ONE person. Accept your minor differences.
4. Be Who You Were Meant And Created To Be: you're so special that not everyone SHOULD have your attention or qualities (yes it's true! In Christ you are so valuable and wonderful, and you have to guard your heart from influences that destroy your worth and potential. If this has happened, it's time to restore your self worth! Remember that loving others can also be done from a distance.
5. Words That Build Up Should Speak Loudest In Your Life. Again, coming from an authentic source, those who matter.
6. Know Your Worth And Who You Are In Christ. If you start seeing yourself as valuable and worth something, rather than someone who is there to entertain someone, you will see things begin to change from the inside out…
Get with a group of friends, whether it's a Bible study or at school. Starting to have hope is what matters first. What helped me in the past was having a friend at church who I could talk to. Having her not at my school was really helpful because I knew I could always call her without influences around her perspective and getting advice about the bigger options. God also brought a girl who I thought was an 'angel' at just the right time. She turned out to be a Christian, and I ended up hanging out with her, to eventually doing Bible studies with her. This took my time and made a positive influence in my life at that time when I needed it most.
7. God Is By Your Side. You Don't Have To Suffer In Silence. Even When you think God's Not Listening, He Really Is. Talk To Him About ANYTHING, No matter What You're Going Through. When I was 15, I remember reflecting on the nasty things in my life and I finally said in my head: "there is no God". That night, I had a dream where Jesus appeared to me in the dream. I could only see His robe, and it was HUGE, and I heard the voice say, "don't worry". I knew it was the Son of God! I couldn't stop smiling the whole entire day, and from that day, I knew that God wanted me to know that He was real. There were other instances before I even became filled with the Spirit where He showed me who He was. I just wanted to share that to say: The Father hears you. For the younger people, you are not too young to talk to the Father. He CARES. He Heard my tiny tiny thought and comment that night, and I went to bed not knowing that my voice made a difference, my Father had heard my voice.
8. Remember This: "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in Spirit" -Psalm 34:18
9. Listen To Encouraging Messages! Among other ways of staying encouraged, I used to listen to Adventure in Odyssey tapes A LOT at that time before I went to bed. I was absolutely in LOVE with it! It REALLY encouraged me a lot to pray or face my fears (if you're younger, I encourage you to listen to them, they can also be streamed online as well!). Now-a-days, we have iTunes, Youtube, Podcasts etc. Stay encouraged.
10. Look Around And See Who You Trust, And Confide In Them. If it gets out of hand, go to a teacher/someone you trust. You could also go to someone who knows about bullying. If you don't know anyone who does, do some research and see who has spoken about something similar in the past. Some adults don't react for many reasons, but some of the reasons is that they don't want to believe that this happens in their school/child, or they don't know what to do when they are given that information, or they are scared of what the action consequences are for their school/person. Go to some one you trust, as they may potentially have the power to do something about it, even if it's telling some one else.
I truly believe that the teacher I went to was God-orchestrated. This teacher had openly spoken about his past in one art class years before. This was an art class I had thought: "umm…RANDOM Moment!!!" LOL! But in fact, years later, he was someone God used to remind me that that "random" story he had mentioned in that class was for this particular moment. By God's grace, the teacher helped me A LOT, truly inspired me, and fought for me. I am forever grateful.
Although not every story ends like this, I do know that God is active, alive and NEVER CHANGES. He is the One person you can go to without fear of His character changing.
You were made to be different, to be spectacular. Be That. Stand Strong. In spite of all the turmoil, you are Greater.
You are who you are for a reason. There would not be adversity if you did not stand out or stand up for something. Behind the scenes, the 'enemy' wants you, but you are not destroyed. In Christ, you are a victor.
2. Bullies Have Problems As Well, Otherwise They Would Not Do What They Are Doing. At some point in the movie, a kid thinks his "new friend" is really his authentic friend, when really he isn't. The kid believes it and even ends up standing up for his "new friend" even though his girl friend tried warning him that she sensed something was off about the guy's loyalty. I remember when I had the dilemma of the girl who used her words to bring me down. I knew about her story, so it made it easier for me to excuse her behavior, knowing that she was hurting. We tend to do that as a human race, but at some point: LET GO. It's not YOUR story, it's THEIRS, you don't have to be a part of it if it's toxic to your life. Let Go and Let God.
3. Go To People Who CARE About You. I do understand that sometimes lines can be blurred as in recent days we use 'frenemy' as a casual term (*shaking my head*). Yes, it takes discernment, because you deserve better. Remember that some people just don't care, or pretend to, so go to those who do, even if it's ONE person. Accept your minor differences.
4. Be Who You Were Meant And Created To Be: you're so special that not everyone SHOULD have your attention or qualities (yes it's true! In Christ you are so valuable and wonderful, and you have to guard your heart from influences that destroy your worth and potential. If this has happened, it's time to restore your self worth! Remember that loving others can also be done from a distance.
5. Words That Build Up Should Speak Loudest In Your Life. Again, coming from an authentic source, those who matter.
6. Know Your Worth And Who You Are In Christ. If you start seeing yourself as valuable and worth something, rather than someone who is there to entertain someone, you will see things begin to change from the inside out…
Get with a group of friends, whether it's a Bible study or at school. Starting to have hope is what matters first. What helped me in the past was having a friend at church who I could talk to. Having her not at my school was really helpful because I knew I could always call her without influences around her perspective and getting advice about the bigger options. God also brought a girl who I thought was an 'angel' at just the right time. She turned out to be a Christian, and I ended up hanging out with her, to eventually doing Bible studies with her. This took my time and made a positive influence in my life at that time when I needed it most.
7. God Is By Your Side. You Don't Have To Suffer In Silence. Even When you think God's Not Listening, He Really Is. Talk To Him About ANYTHING, No matter What You're Going Through. When I was 15, I remember reflecting on the nasty things in my life and I finally said in my head: "there is no God". That night, I had a dream where Jesus appeared to me in the dream. I could only see His robe, and it was HUGE, and I heard the voice say, "don't worry". I knew it was the Son of God! I couldn't stop smiling the whole entire day, and from that day, I knew that God wanted me to know that He was real. There were other instances before I even became filled with the Spirit where He showed me who He was. I just wanted to share that to say: The Father hears you. For the younger people, you are not too young to talk to the Father. He CARES. He Heard my tiny tiny thought and comment that night, and I went to bed not knowing that my voice made a difference, my Father had heard my voice.
8. Remember This: "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in Spirit" -Psalm 34:18
9. Listen To Encouraging Messages! Among other ways of staying encouraged, I used to listen to Adventure in Odyssey tapes A LOT at that time before I went to bed. I was absolutely in LOVE with it! It REALLY encouraged me a lot to pray or face my fears (if you're younger, I encourage you to listen to them, they can also be streamed online as well!). Now-a-days, we have iTunes, Youtube, Podcasts etc. Stay encouraged.
10. Look Around And See Who You Trust, And Confide In Them. If it gets out of hand, go to a teacher/someone you trust. You could also go to someone who knows about bullying. If you don't know anyone who does, do some research and see who has spoken about something similar in the past. Some adults don't react for many reasons, but some of the reasons is that they don't want to believe that this happens in their school/child, or they don't know what to do when they are given that information, or they are scared of what the action consequences are for their school/person. Go to some one you trust, as they may potentially have the power to do something about it, even if it's telling some one else.
I truly believe that the teacher I went to was God-orchestrated. This teacher had openly spoken about his past in one art class years before. This was an art class I had thought: "umm…RANDOM Moment!!!" LOL! But in fact, years later, he was someone God used to remind me that that "random" story he had mentioned in that class was for this particular moment. By God's grace, the teacher helped me A LOT, truly inspired me, and fought for me. I am forever grateful.
Although not every story ends like this, I do know that God is active, alive and NEVER CHANGES. He is the One person you can go to without fear of His character changing.
You were made to be different, to be spectacular. Be That. Stand Strong. In spite of all the turmoil, you are Greater.
"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world" -1 John 4:4
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