Category: Authenticity

Part two: "Saying I'm Sorry" - Active steps

10/16/2014

"love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for"
-love is not a fight, Warren barfield

So, in Part I of 'Saying I'm Sorry', we spoke about marriage and we also spoke about saying 'I'm sorry,' in that particular context. It was seen that we first say 'sorry' to Our Father, who knows us. I'd like to say, Thank the LORD that He STILL LOVES US even though He knows the very depths and darkness of our hearts. Isn't that reason ALONE to apologize to HIM FIRST? If anything, He should be the only One,
….but we still have reality to deal with. =) =)

We also spoke about how your wife or husband may be upset with you for something you did, and so the next step is apologizing to them. With that said, it will take courage, but saying 'I'm sorry' in that aspect, is the first step to reconciling with them.

Other Steps Include:

1. As you are now clean before God, go BACK to God, to ask for the next steps. HE will tell you what your next steps are. Sit before Him and wait for His answer as you are restoring your position or your marriage.

2. I would encourage you to watch the movie 'Fireproof' (2008), directed by Alex Kendrick. I highly recommend it as its worth your time. I believe that this is an investment that can truly impact your life. You can also buy 'The Love Dare Book', which you'll also see is in association with the movie. Go through the book and be intentional about it. This situation is of course between you and God, so see as fit, and according to the Holy Spirit's guidance.

3. Go out and love your wife, your children, whom ever has been hurt from this.
Also see what the needed steps are. What practical steps do you ensure that it doesn't happen again? Will you be chatting with so-and-so online? Ask yourself these questions, journal these out maybe. It's good to be prepared and ready to give an answer to not only yourself, but your significant other to show that you have thought about how to improve. As said before, overall, it will be more of a concerted effort for the resolution, but doing your part is also a start, and a very big start.

4. As you do this, you may think that nothing is happening or they don't believe you've 'changed that fast', well, that's where God plays HIS part. TRUST Him to change their hearts and to bless you both as you continue this process of moving on. God has so much in store for you guys.

5. Continue.
Don't give up. You'll get there, just don't give up.

6. It's worth fighting for. Remember your ministry. Remember your start. Remember the good times. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. God's got it. Just trust in Him.

I once heard someone say, "the end of me is the beginning of God". I know that you may be sick of this, you're tied down and don't have the time…but it's in these moments when we throw our hands up in the air that God takes us up into His arms, and gives us wings to fly instead. So stand strong and never give up, it's worth fighting for. Marriage is a gift from God. <3

Remember, if it were the other way round in your situation, you'd be worth fighting for.

Never give up.

Part I: Character: Saying I'm Sorry

Part i: Character - saying i'm sorry

10/13/2014

I woke up the other day, feeling led to write down the next topic for the the blog. I felt that there was a stronghold on marriages in a particular city. I pray that strongholds may be broken in that city, in Jesus' Name (I also encourage you to pray for marriages all around the world in Jesus Name). The other point was the general sense of those who were failing to say, 'I'm Sorry'.

I pondered these things, and asked the Lord what He wanted me to write, but at first only got the notion that He wanted to say that people need to start saying 'sorry' (as we know, it's often more of a pride element when we don't acknowledge what we've done and then apologize).

Later on in the day, I thought of the song, 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word' by Blue & Elton John.

The lyrics say:
"What do I do to make you want me?
What have I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
And sorry seems to be the hardest word"

Sometimes we don't need to do a whole lot of STUFF to impress someone (Emphasis on sometimes. Let's apply things to our own situations instead! Lol!). Or sometimes we can try to "figure it out" or fix it on our own. Instead, sorry, would be what is needed in that circumstance, at least as a genuine start. The actions and "figuring it out" can follow after. Let me tell you a little secret: collaborative effort is always best. Never try to do it on your own as if the person doesn't exist and will exist when you figure it all out. Just say sorry and then with God's help, move on to the next step. =)

Now, you might be saying, "Grr! So what if that person doesn't want to hear what I have to say!?"

The song identifies with that aspect, noting:
"It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over?"

As said above, sometimes when we've hurt someone and want to say 'sorry', or have said 'sorry', they might not want to hear it or want to talk about it any more because of the hurt. Instead they may need time, and want to see actions.

"So what do I do in the mean time? Sing this sad song?" :) No. But thank God for Redemption. Thank God it starts with Him. =) Like David, who humbled himself and went to God: "Against you, you only, have I sinned…"-Psalm 51:4 …we go to that place, and talk with God.

Side Note: Once we are forgiven, it is FINISHED. In other words, God remembers it no more. That means, any time after that, if you're still reminded of that sin, then its either our flesh, or the devil. Solutions? Well, there are many, but we take steps to make sure it doesn't come to our mind over and over by using Scripture, and also taking practical steps (more on this in Part II, coming soon!).

Remember that we are promised once and for all that: "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" -Romans 8:1

Thus, just like David did in his redemption process, GET UP AND WALK.

Continue and sin no more by the Power of the Holy Spirit.
God's with you all the way. Don't give up.

Part II: Saying I'm Sorry - Active Steps

Comparisons - Knowing Who We Are

6/14/2014

Photo Credit: Meagan Good

What powerful words!!! :)
I randomly went on Meagan Good's instagram today and saw this quote and I thought, 'This is powerful truth!!" Amen! :)

Maybe you've been feeling like you need to be like somebody else in order to be liked, or that you need to be something else to be liked, but you feel like it's not really you, it's somebody else. You may feel like people like somebody else more but don't like you.

Don't compare yourself. People are not meant to be liked based on who they want to be like, but based on who they already are.

1 Corinthians 12:12-30 touches on this perfectly. It talks about how we are one body, but many parts. I encourage you to do a Bible Study on it! :)

To some extent, comparisons stem from wanting to be like somebody else, but not ourselves, and comparing ourselves with others.

This text talks about how the body is actually a unit (verse 12).
A unit is defined as: "as individual thing or person regarded as single and complete but which can also form an individual component of a larger or more complex whole" (Oxford American Dictionary).

We were meant to be whole as an individual in Christ, and in that, to be a part of a joint and vital component of a more complex whole :)

We all have one and the same Spirit (verse 13). Praise God He doesn't give 100% of the Spirit to some and 20% to others when He "doesn't feel like it" haha! We're all whole and one in Christ.

Now, what does that look like in the physical world? Well, we are human, so comparing ourselves will occur, but it's making sure we don't make this our focus and pursuit (i.e. our worldly pursuit).

Verse 15 says, what if the foot said, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body", and verse 17 asks us what if the whole body became an eye where the sense of hearing be.

Friend, where would the sense of smell be if the body were a big 'ol ear?
Getting the picture now? :) :) ;-) Ok. So...

Know that we are made with significance, carefully crafted to be who we are, along with the role that we play. We are not insignificant.

Verses 22-26 may answers that notion:

"On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Amen. Did you read that? If ONE PART. ONE. ONE. ONE. ONEEEE part SUFFERS, EVERY PART SUFFERS WITH IT.
You are significant and you may not know it yet if you're still comparing yourself with others :) ;-)
You are important.

I'll leave you with my favorite part of the passage:
"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be." (verse 18).

I find this beautiful and inspiring because it says, "as HE wanted them to be." not as XYZ wanted them to be, but HE. He arranged them all perfectly. You are created perfectly to be who you are, and God created you to be that part, not man, but God (and we know that God is sovereign, so He is in control so it wasn't just random). He loves you very much and has not 'forgotten' about you. You are a vital component to the community of God, and you are wanted, just as you are.

So what does the quote at the beginning have to do with this?
Well, if we start liking who we are, and know what our purpose is, we're less likely to compare ourselves to others because we know who we are and whose we are. We will start realizing how wonderfully different yet similar we really are, and with that aspect, will start to wish well on others and not just ourselves :) It's a road and journey we all take together, so let's celebrate each other! Amen! :) Jesus loves you <3

P.S. Next time you are questioning who you are, remember to go back to the original "Manual", the Maker knows who you are, He created you. Reinforce His truths about you over and over so you won't forget who you are in Christ! Or even better, have a heart-to-heart with Him, and ask Him who you are. ;-)

Any questions? Let me know by writing to me here!

Crossing Over The Bridge

1/28/2014

I read John 15:11-24 this morning as part of my devotional. John 15:11-24 is about the Prodigal son. "ahhh.." you say.. You seem to know this one...you say...

At first I also thought, 'not this story again!' As I've read it plenty times over. Buttttt God does a new thing like always, and gives us new insight in a passage that we would've read over and over and over! Amen and glory to that!! :)
So here it goes!

The passage says:
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." (From the New International Version).

I felt like the Lord said that it can be seen from the point of view of being about Jesus, that once upon a time, we went away from the Father (since the beginning in the garden), but we were found again via the blood of Jesus (redeemed, rather!)

Jesus built the bridge that enables us to crossover to go to the Father (God). It is now possible to have the choice to go to back to the Father. Oh how wonderful it that? So wonderful!! So wonderful.

Let's look at the text a bit more closely, and see what it's saying to us:

After squandering everything at this point,the son began to be in need (verse 14).
Have you ever gasped for air? Like in a swimming pool and you want to get back to the top? Or you ran a distance and were out of breath that you needed to stop to catch the next one? That's what I'm guessing the son felt like at this point: in need to breath properly again, without gasping.

Verse 17 says he came to his senses. It finally hit him. It was a heart moment.
It finally clicked.
*click!*
He had a moment of enlightenment, a moment of humility, all intertwined to make one. It all starts in the head and heart, then slowly shifts towards our facial expression, which changes to that of sorrow, mimicking the inside process. It's a moment of realization, that through it all, we had hurt God, and the people around us.

We see that after this moment, the son decides that he will go back to his Father (verse 18).
He says Father. He acknowledges His Father.

He knows that he can apologize to Mr. & Ms such and such too, but at this point, it's all about God, the Father.

We're reminded of David, who said, "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight" Psalm 51:4.

He realizes that it was the Father, all along, who was the beginning and end of life, streams of living water, peace, comfort, and breath. And in abundance.

Verse 18 says that he set out, meaning, he took action.

Action.

Then he got up and went to his Father (verse 20).

More action.

Yesterday I read a quote that said, "If there were a thousand steps between us and God, He will take all but one. He will leave the final one to us. The decision is ours." (Author Unknown) (it was in the context of running to God as our refuge :) He wants us to take that leap of faith towards Him, knowing that His arms are always wide open, when we choose to come to Him.

Verse 20 says it was to his Father that he went to. Not people. His Father :)

And what did his Father do?

He had compassion (verse 20) on his son, onto his most precious child :) Amen ♡

He even ran to His son (verse 20).

Running.

He even threw His arms around him (verse 20).

No, He didn't nonchalantly touch him, even though just a touch from God is greater than anything in this world, but instead He THREW His arms. He THREW them...do you get it? I can't get enough! :) He's like: "my son! You're back! You're back!! Welcome back!! You came back! To me! To me! Your Father! I love You, son...I love you. My son..."

And when you think that that was it,

It says, 'and kissed him' (verse 20).

How wonderful is that?
Amazing.

But then...the Father says 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him." (verse 22).

You see, that verse starts with the word, 'BUT'. I mean...come on, how amazing can He get?

The son goes humbly before the Father to ask for forgiveness, and I can only imagine he's in tears, and in ragged clothes. Since he was feeding the pigs, he probably smells really bad, is very muddy, but could care less to ask for a place to shower because he's running back, as he is, running from a journey of turmoil, leaving it all behind, all in the past, ready to set forth a new path, even if he has to start from the bottom because he knows that his Father's place is much better than anything that's out there.

Just like David said, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." Psalm 84:10

That sentence begins with 'But'.

'But' means that the son was probably expecting an alternate response. It can only be that reason isn't it? That a moment were it was meant to be a point of shame and condemnation, the Father does everything but. He does that which is contrary to it, to that point that He doesn't waste a minute in saying, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him." (verse 22).

Shout it on the rooftops! The son is back! He's back! Amen! Amen! Hallelujah! He's back Abba, He's back to You!

This is similar to The Parable of the Lost Coin in Luke 15:8-10, which says,
“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (NIV)
Amen!

Like this picture, when Jesus sees you, He takes His robe off, and exchanges His for yours.

It says, we have been declared righteous by faith! Amen! (Romans 5:1) All rights accredited to Google Images

And the Father wasn't done yet, He says, "Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet" (Verse 20).

A ring on a hand was a mark of wealth and dignity. A ring was seen as a sign of favor, just like in Genesis 41:39-43 (where Pharaoh was speaking to Joseph. You can read the story of Joseph in Genesis 37).

Genesis 41:39-43 says,
"Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my place., and all my people are to submit to your orders...."I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt. Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck."

We also see this in Esther 8:2, where "The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Haman, and presented it to Mordecai."

To 'present' something is to give something to someone officially or formally.
He didn't fling it. No.
He gratefully presented it. Honorably, and respectfully.

A signet ring looks like this:

In Haggai 2:20, The Lord tells Zerubbabel (the governor of Judah) that He will make him like His signet ring, because He had chosen him.

We now see this great significance our Father puts on His children.

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

In Luke 15: 23, the Father gives orders to bring the fattened calf and to have it killed. He says, "Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

So they began to celebrate (Verse 23-24).

Son, daughter, God has chosen you too. You are His.

Begin to Celebrate.

He Proved it

10/28/2013

Romans 5:8 says, "He demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Definition of 'demonstrate': To clearly show something. To prove. To give evidence.

Christ gave evidence.

It is to show or express by one's own actions. To take part in a public demonstration.

Colossians 2: 13-15 says, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."

A few things came to mind when I read these verses.

1. Wow, He proved it. He proved it. He proved His love by dying for ME, for YOU. He did it.

How many times, as humans, do we want proof of something? We always want someone to prove something, to show it by their actions; we say, "if you loved me you would..." well, Christ did that, and more, and He won't stop at anything to show you how much He loves you.

The verse before says, "very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die." Romans 5:7 (NIV)

It says a person might possibly or even perhaps dare to die for a good person, which means maybe, which means uncertainty, and possibly they will..but not necessarily. haha, super jokes. oh and that person they die for has to be GOOD. LOL So, by the time this person THINKS about whether you are WORTH dying for and losing THEIR own life for you, you would probably be dead and they'd like say, "oh well, you're dead now....guess you made this decision easier!" LOL.

Humans can't save you.

But "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

My point is this:

To the point of sweating blood, Christ was in anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane. He asked God to take the cup from Him, but then He then said "yet not My will but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42), and He did it. Pulling away His "emotions", He did it.

Honorable.

We desire that day to day. I hear women say, "I want a guy who would sacrifice for me!" but here He is...He did it all for you.
I hear men say, "yeah man, I want someone who keeps it real..." Yeah, Christ kept it real, and I'll show you how:

2. Colossians 2:15 says He made a public spectacle of them. "Them", are your enemies man...There is nothing hidden here. He came out, did the fight, and He made sure that it was all done publicly, even if He Himself was humiliated in the process. Just for you....man :) People who are going to hate you, blame you, etc, they've all been taken cared of.

Friend, don't let your faith-walk be in shame or let the enemy fill you with fear. Like it says in verse 14, Christ NAILED (pinned it and BAM it's done!) it to the cross, He nailed it, and it's done. It's over and done with. Whatever comes out from the darkness may feel a certain way because we are still have the flesh, but we still rejoice because it has been brought to the light to recognize it ("love rejoices with the truth/whenever the truth wins out"-1 Corinthians 13:5), and it has also been taken cared of by Christ, and we can repent and move on joyfully. Amen!

Wow, what a great God. All to show you how much He loves you and how much He wants a relationship with you. Just you. Nothing else matters but You and Him, together.
Jesus loves you very much and He will show you that everyday.

I choose to love what He loves

6/26/2013

God is SO good! I've been doing this online 365-day devotional by Joyce Meyer, and it has really been speaking to me (hence the many references to her as of late!! haha!). She said: "I know God loves me, so I can love what God chooses to love. I don't love everything I do, but I accept myself because God accepts me."

How true.
If a PERFECT God, who has NO blemish CHOOSES to love us, why can't we start to see ourselves in the same light He does?

I believe that we are meant to love ourselves (obviously not in a conceited way)...

Food for thought

6/19/2013

C.S Lewis once said, "If, at the start of a mathematical equation, we get something wrong, no amount of just ‘carrying on’ will ever put it right."

Do we have our foundation in our Christian walk?

Like C.S. Lewis said, no matter how much we carry on, without the foundation that "starts" the process, we will still get it wrong, so we need to go back to the beginning and see what is "wrong".
If that means having an honest heart-to-heart chat with God, then go for it. If it means letting go of those "secret" sins that "no one" knows about, then confess it and let it go. Whatever it is, ask God to build your foundation and ask Him if there are any cracks. You will start to see growth and fruit if you trust in God for this, I guarantee it! Amen!

I hope everyone is having a good week!
In faith and in love, always,

FAITH by Promises

Beware of impostors

6/13/2013

Ladies, we need to be careful about whom we choose to marry or date. Over and over I see countless women who end up with guys who never took responsibility of their role.

In the book of Ruth, we see a woman (Ruth) with nobel character, along with Boaz (also a man with nobel character), the man whom she later marries.

Upon losing her husband, Ruth thought Boaz would be her kinsman-redeemer (i.e. in that time if a woman lost her husband, the next relative had to claim her in order to keep the family name going, and the property). Boaz tells Ruth that he isn't next in line (there is another man before him), and that he will go to see if this guy wants to be the one to claim Ruth.

It turns out, "bachelor-number-1"* turned out to be an impostor...in other words, he didn't want to be...the one.

*Since the guy has no name in the story, we'll call him "bachelor-number-1"

When I leave this life

6/7/2013

When I leave this life.

When I leave this life on earth, I want to be able to truly say that I enjoyed this place, that I enjoyed my time here.
I want to be able to take the next or last breath knowing that I lived up to my purpose, and that lives were changed.

When I leave this life on earth, I want the world to know Jesus because He was alive through me and many others just like me who were alive and full of His glory.

I want them to know Him, and not me, and not what I stood for, but what He stood for.

The other night I was reminded of a sentence I heard a pastor say one Sunday at my church.

He said that one lady's grave had: "The Lord was with her" written on it.

When I leave this life on earth, the only thing I want people to say about me is: "The Lord was with her."

But I don't fit in. . .?

5/30/2013

The other day I was reading about the conditions that would qualify me for a specific fee status for my (God willing) future university. I went through the list of categories, and in category 6 it said "read box 7". I went to box 7 to read about the extra conditions. I started scrolling down the screen to read the other conditions in box 8. After reading from another box and feeling frustrated about the amount of information they required, I was told to stop borrowing from the other box.

You see, the other box was full of things that was meant for another category. If I had started borrowing words and conditions from the other box, I started seeing that I possibly could never fit in the criteria that I was trying to claim.

This got me thinking.

How often do we "borrow" from other people? From other things? Other lifestyles? Other places, events, ideas, seasons?

How many times do we look at another person's life and wish we had what they had, or wished we looked like they did?

What if we understood that being a certain way is perfect for them because they are supposed to fulfill a certain purpose that was tailor made just for them?