"love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for" So, in Part I of 'Saying I'm Sorry', we spoke about marriage and we also spoke about saying 'I'm sorry,' in that particular context. It was seen that we first say 'sorry' to Our Father, who knows us. I'd like to say, Thank the LORD that He STILL LOVES US even though He knows the very depths and darkness of our hearts. Isn't that reason ALONE to apologize to HIM FIRST? If anything, He should be the only One, ….but we still have reality to deal with. =) =) We also spoke about how your wife or husband may be upset with you for something you did, and so the next step is apologizing to them. With that said, it will take courage, but saying 'I'm sorry' in that aspect, is the first step to reconciling with them. Other Steps Include: 1. As you are now clean before God, go BACK to God, to ask for the next steps. HE will tell you what your next steps are. Sit before Him and wait for His answer as you are restoring your position or your marriage. 2. I would encourage you to watch the movie 'Fireproof' (2008), directed by Alex Kendrick. I highly recommend it as its worth your time. I believe that this is an investment that can truly impact your life. You can also buy 'The Love Dare Book', which you'll also see is in association with the movie. Go through the book and be intentional about it. This situation is of course between you and God, so see as fit, and according to the Holy Spirit's guidance. 3. Go out and love your wife, your children, whom ever has been hurt from this. Also see what the needed steps are. What practical steps do you ensure that it doesn't happen again? Will you be chatting with so-and-so online? Ask yourself these questions, journal these out maybe. It's good to be prepared and ready to give an answer to not only yourself, but your significant other to show that you have thought about how to improve. As said before, overall, it will be more of a concerted effort for the resolution, but doing your part is also a start, and a very big start. 4. As you do this, you may think that nothing is happening or they don't believe you've 'changed that fast', well, that's where God plays HIS part. TRUST Him to change their hearts and to bless you both as you continue this process of moving on. God has so much in store for you guys. 5. Continue. Don't give up. You'll get there, just don't give up. 6. It's worth fighting for. Remember your ministry. Remember your start. Remember the good times. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. God's got it. Just trust in Him. I once heard someone say, "the end of me is the beginning of God". I know that you may be sick of this, you're tied down and don't have the time…but it's in these moments when we throw our hands up in the air that God takes us up into His arms, and gives us wings to fly instead. So stand strong and never give up, it's worth fighting for. Marriage is a gift from God. <3 Remember, if it were the other way round in your situation, you'd be worth fighting for. Never give up.  Photo credit: Horia Varlan Joshua 8: 1-2 "Then the Lord said to Joshua, "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. For I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land. You shall do to Ai and its king as you did to Jericho and its king, except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves. Set an ambush behind the city." (Emphasis mine).
Have you ever wanted to do something and the Lord says to you, 'wait'. Or, 'not yet'? A while ago, I wrote about how during the wait, God's doing something significant that we may not be seeing with our natural eye. Sometimes we may think that because it's taking so long or because we don't see what we are thinking it should be like, that its reason to settle for something less, but we all know that that's not what God wants for our lives, He wants to give us His best. We know that there are many reasons He asks us to wait, but because we are His child, waiting is for our benefit, and it creates opportunity for a new thing in our lives, and all to the glory of God. Amen. I had the opportunity to read this verse in the Book of Joshua. This verse became important after reading Chapters 6 and 7, which I recommend you read as well to get the full context. Briefly, in Chapters 6 and 7, the Lord had told Joshua that he had delivered Jericho into his hands (i.e. given him the city). He was then commanded to march around the city once with all the armed men, for 6 days. On the 7th day, they were to march around the city 7 times. In Joshua 6:18 the Lord says to Joshua to keep away from the devoted things as it would bring trouble. Later in Chapter 7 we see that a guy named Achan had hopped on along and taken that which was devoted, when it wasn't the time to. We know it wasn't the time to take these ''good things'' from the land yet, as in Chapter 8, from what the Lord says to Joshua after He tells him to go into another city: "Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.... You shall do to Ai and its kind as you did to Jericho (the place of the previous battle), except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves..." (Joshua 8:1-2). The New Living Translation says, "But this time you may keep the plunder and livestock for yourselves...." But this time... This time. The event of going into another city had occurred before, but it was this time, it was thee time. This particular time. Outside of that time was the wrong time. Waiting. It can be a tough one eh? We all make mistakes and may do something we're not supposed to at the appointed time. Even if you're a leader, you're going to make mistakes. It's just about being real with yourself and not allowing yourself or others put you on an untouchable pedestal. It's about how we handle it after the mistake that counts, i.e. did we learn something, did we grow from it? Are we getting closer to God now because of it? Are we now ready to do what God's asking us to do? etc. I've already told you about how I started this whole website and went ahead of God, put all these sections to the website and I was all super jolly about it, only to have Him ask me to only start with one blog post. *Ouch* :) I smile about it now, but yes it was majorly humbling at the time. I can only boast in the Lord: but since then, I've never had to sit down and think: "what is the next blog post going to be?" but more of waiting on God until He told me what to say next; He's had the lead. It's a waiting process as well because I would sometimes see other sites doing 'more' stuff or had more sections, but had to wait on God's voice, and then proceed. Not only that, but we don't know other people's story or journey as they did their work, so it's unfair to judge by what the human eye can see. Amen. :) God's timing is so perfect, when you see it happening, you'll be so content that you'll forget about past experiences or wonder why you went ahead before! He has it all under control. Waiting on God teaches us to submit to Him, and to let Him take the lead. This time, the Israelites had the joy (hallelujah!) of carrying the plunder and livestock, as the Lord said they could do. You too, will be able to enjoy what He's asking you to do. He had opened the door to enjoy this wonderful gift. Let's remember that when God says 'not yet', it's 'not yet'. When He says 'go', 'go'. There's a time for everything :) So here are the questions: Is the Lord telling you to go? Is He telling you that NOW is the right time? Enter the doors to which He is telling you to go. Why don't you have a nice heart to heart with the Lord tonight? He's with you all the way, as He's leading you to go where you wants you to go. Amen! 
In Genesis 16:13, Hagar says, "You are the God who sees me, I have now seen the One who sees me."
God sees you. Wherever you are, He sees you, and He hears you. 
I went to London the other weekend for a conference and to stay with a friend. Before I went to bed at her place, I had a worry about whether God would provide for me in a certain area in my life. I pretty much vented it to God and told Him that I was worried about it.
At around 3:20am, I was awoken to a revelation about my worry. I had had a dream where I had the Apple plug, which connects to my iTouch, iPad, etc. and in the dream I said, "this plug connects to everything!" I then woke up. This dream was about one plug giving power. The Lord wanted me to know that He is the One Power and One Source. He wanted me to know that He is the One Source connecting to everything and I need not worry. As I'm in a challenging place right now in a new city, God is reassuring me that He is the One who I can go to and He will connect me to everything else. This also reassured me that He does listen to my prayers and cares about my every worry. :) He is so faithful and so true, and He will be with me wherever I go, and He will be there with you too. 
Jesus feeds the five thousand.
Jesus feeds the five thousand in Matthew 14: 13 - 21. "We have only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered. "Bring them here to me," He said. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. I cried out to God today, life had been so rough for me. As I walked He reminded me of this story, and said, "remember the five thousand..." Jesus fed five thousand people out of five loaves of bread and two fish. You see, some weeks ago, I had to come to Him in repentance of some sins, and I was so lost, I was so lost without Him. My life had taken a different turn, and I couldn't do it without Him. With tendencies to try to live life "perfectly", I knew He wanted me to realize that I couldn't work for my salvation and that it was already done for at the cross: "But now He has appeared once and for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of Himself." Hebrews 9:26b Where does the story of the five loaves of bread come into this? Well, Jesus said, "come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 That's for everyone. He said He wanted me to come to Him, that He is able to feed me. He didn't say to me, "Tawana, come to me when you have cleaned up your act." No, He said, "Just as you are, just as you are crying, just as you are." I felt like I had to have this cleaned up heart, this cleaned up act before I prayed to Him, but that's not what He wants. He came to die for a reason, so we wouldn't have to work for our salvation or work to gain His approval. It can only be a lie from the devil to think that we can attain some right standing with God in one way or another for it says, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21 The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with five loaves made sense to me now: I can come to Him with the little that I have and say, "Jesus, this is all I have, this is all I have, take it from me please, take it," and He will change it. He will change it. If it's something bad I'm giving to Him, He'll wash it away, He'll wash it away, He is able. If it's something good that I'm giving Him , He will multiply it, He will give me the amount that I need, He's so generous. "They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over..." Matthew 14: 20 "But He said to me, 'My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me...For when I am weak, then I am strong" -2 Corinthians 12:9 - 10 God wants you to come to Him with all of your problems, your situations. He doesn't want you to be working for your salvation or to think that you can attain anything. He is the only one who can fix them for you and do it for you. Don't be embarrassed about coming to Him, He wants you to know that He cares for you and nothing is too big or too bad for Him to take. He is, in fact, God. And He loves you and wants you to come close to Him. Wow it's been a while!
God's been doing great things and He is so faithful! I just want to let you know that whatever God's doing in your life, He is going to bless it! Amen! So today I was scanning through my journal and I stopped at when I wrote down Genesis 3:11 and right away the title "who are you listening to" came to me. Friend, who are you listening to? Are you listening to somebody else today who's not God's voice? Are you listening to someone who isn't a voice to be trusted? God's telling you to stop right now. Right now. Genesis 3:11 says, "who told you that you were naked? Have you EATEN from the TREE that I COMMANDED you not to eat from?" What are you eating? Are you eating from television? From videos? From celebrities? Are you eating from people who God says 'no' to? It's time to re-assess who you spend time with. These "things" will benefit you for a while, but in the long run, they'll destroy you. Don't believe the lies of the enemy. The enemy is INDIRECTLY telling you to 'stop right now' that your purpose isn't good enough, and that YOU'RE not good enough. Tell him that you are, tell Him that God loves you and that you are good enough. Tell him that God's gifts and CALLING are irrevocable (Romans 11:29), so we can CHOOSE to STOP right now and make a u-turn and head back to God. Tell him you can do it without the lies and that you don't need momentary pleasures. Amen. The enemy has a plan for you, just as GOD has a plan for you, but we have to CHOOSE whom we're LISTENING to. God loves you very much and wants to see you prosper, but for now, please ask yourself: Who are you listening to? God bless you. God's calling your name. He wants you to serve in the area He has already called you to.
In Esther 4:10-13 we read about how Mordecai (Esther's older cousin) tells Esther that Haman (a man who got promoted as highest honor in the king's palace) issued a decree to have all the Jews killed. He tells her to go and urge the king to stop it or they would all die. Esther's response was that she would die if she entered the inner court where the king was, and that she needed the king to extend a special gold scepter to spare her life. Mordecai wasn't all too pleased with her reply, and he tells her that just because she is in the king's house, she's not any different. You see, Esther had been silent about being a Jew all this time (as Mordecai had advised her to), so nobody knew about her real identity except for her family. Some of us are in that place. Some of us are hiding the fact that we are Christians. For whatever reason it may be in your case, it's time to unravel. At some point or another, the truth always comes out.  Not too long ago, Pastor David Mc Chesney was a guest pastor at my church. I remember he said: "learn to receive manna for TODAY." Although the context was totally different from what I'm going to talk about, this sentence came back to me in various situations thereafter.
Recently, it got me thinking...how much do we worry about what's going to happen tomorrow, when really today hasn't even been lived? We go on and on about what will be, and yet the Lord says: "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:26-27) Today is the day we are in, it is the present, and as cliché as this is, it really is the gift we have been given. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11  We get so caught up sometimes, in what we want to do, where we want to go, who we want to be, and forget that we have a God, a good God who wants the best for us, the very best, to give us life, hope, a future, more than we could ever ask for, but we struggle and fight, throw tantrums, become selfish, and are out about our own way.
We struggle, because we're human. There's nothing about us that's pure, that's holy, that's sane. We dig deeper, trying for more, and more, but we end up with nothing, because we're doing it ourselves. What if God called you today? What if He called you out into the nations to do something for Him? What if He called you and said, "leave everything behind; your family, your friends, your kids, your everything, and follow me." What if he said "what you have is nothing compared to what I have in store for you." What if, like the rich young man, Jesus says: "go, sell all your possessions, and give them to the poor, and you'll have treasure in heaven." Would you believe Him? I mean would you REALLY believe Him?  Matthew 23:24 says: "you blind guides! you strain out a gnat (a tiny two-winged fly) but swallow a camel."
In this verse, the Pharisees were focusing and getting picky on the LITTLE things which prevented them from dealing with the BIGGER issues that were truly important (for them, they were missing mercy and faithfulness amidst the justice - verse 23). I was reading this verse and found it interesting. I used to laugh when I would read about the Pharisees because they were just...always there...like ALL the time, as in bothering Jesus. I don't mean it was "HA-HA-Hilaaaariously-funny" but funny in the sense that they would go OUT of their way JUST to catch Jesus doing something or saying something wrong so they could prove that He wasn't who He said He was. As we have the different types Christianity (i.e. Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists, etc.), we know that some of the churches separated over "petty" things, and others separated over legitimate reasons (e.g. about the Holy Spirit, or what Communion really entailed, etc.), and that led to many many denominations. We see that the Pharisees were so passionate about arguing over the little stuff and not the big stuff which truly matters. I found this interesting as I tied this with Paul's "method" of evangelism where he chose not to focus on arguing over the "little" stuff for the sake of empty arguments. Instead, Paul shifted his focus and became all things to all people in order to win them for the Gospel, i.e. The Bigger Stuff :) Here's what I mean by that... |
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