"love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for"
So, in Part I of 'Saying I'm Sorry', we spoke about marriage and we also spoke about saying 'I'm sorry,' in that particular context. It was seen that we first say 'sorry' to Our Father, who knows us. I'd like to say, Thank the LORD that He STILL LOVES US even though He knows the very depths and darkness of our hearts. Isn't that reason ALONE to apologize to HIM FIRST? If anything, He should be the only One,
….but we still have reality to deal with. =) =)
We also spoke about how your wife or husband may be upset with you for something you did, and so the next step is apologizing to them. With that said, it will take courage, but saying 'I'm sorry' in that aspect, is the first step to reconciling with them.
Other Steps Include:
1. As you are now clean before God, go BACK to God, to ask for the next steps. HE will tell you what your next steps are. Sit before Him and wait for His answer as you are restoring your position or your marriage.
2. I would encourage you to watch the movie 'Fireproof' (2008), directed by Alex Kendrick. I highly recommend it as its worth your time. I believe that this is an investment that can truly impact your life. You can also buy 'The Love Dare Book', which you'll also see is in association with the movie. Go through the book and be intentional about it. This situation is of course between you and God, so see as fit, and according to the Holy Spirit's guidance.
3. Go out and love your wife, your children, whom ever has been hurt from this.
Also see what the needed steps are. What practical steps do you ensure that it doesn't happen again? Will you be chatting with so-and-so online? Ask yourself these questions, journal these out maybe. It's good to be prepared and ready to give an answer to not only yourself, but your significant other to show that you have thought about how to improve. As said before, overall, it will be more of a concerted effort for the resolution, but doing your part is also a start, and a very big start.
4. As you do this, you may think that nothing is happening or they don't believe you've 'changed that fast', well, that's where God plays HIS part. TRUST Him to change their hearts and to bless you both as you continue this process of moving on. God has so much in store for you guys.
Don't give up. You'll get there, just don't give up.
6. It's worth fighting for. Remember your ministry. Remember your start. Remember the good times. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. God's got it. Just trust in Him.
I once heard someone say, "the end of me is the beginning of God". I know that you may be sick of this, you're tied down and don't have the time…but it's in these moments when we throw our hands up in the air that God takes us up into His arms, and gives us wings to fly instead. So stand strong and never give up, it's worth fighting for. Marriage is a gift from God. <3
Remember, if it were the other way round in your situation, you'd be worth fighting for.
Never give up.
What powerful words!!! :)
I randomly went on Meagan Good's instagram today and saw this quote and I thought, 'This is powerful truth!!" Amen! :)
Maybe you've been feeling like you need to be like somebody else in order to be liked, or that you need to be something else to be liked, but you feel like it's not really you, it's somebody else. You may feel like people like somebody else more but don't like you.
Don't compare yourself. People are not meant to be liked based on who they want to be like, but based on who they already are.
1 Corinthians 12:12-30 touches on this perfectly. It talks about how we are one body, but many parts. I encourage you to do a Bible Study on it! :)
To some extent, comparisons stem from wanting to be like somebody else, but not ourselves, and comparing ourselves with others.
This text talks about how the body is actually a unit (verse 12).
A unit is defined as: "as individual thing or person regarded as single and complete but which can also form an individual component of a larger or more complex whole" (Oxford American Dictionary).
We were meant to be whole as an individual in Christ, and in that, to be a part of a joint and vital component of a more complex whole :)
We all have one and the same Spirit (verse 13). Praise God He doesn't give 100% of the Spirit to some and 20% to others when He "doesn't feel like it" haha! We're all whole and one in Christ.
Now, what does that look like in the physical world? Well, we are human, so comparing ourselves will occur, but it's making sure we don't make this our focus and pursuit (i.e. our worldly pursuit).
Verse 15 says, what if the foot said, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body", and verse 17 asks us what if the whole body became an eye where the sense of hearing be.
Friend, where would the sense of smell be if the body were a big 'ol ear?
Getting the picture now? :) :) ;-) Ok. So...
Know that we are made with significance, carefully crafted to be who we are, along with the role that we play. We are not insignificant.
Verses 22-26 may answers that notion:
"On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
Amen. Did you read that? If ONE PART. ONE. ONE. ONE. ONEEEE part SUFFERS, EVERY PART SUFFERS WITH IT.
You are significant and you may not know it yet if you're still comparing yourself with others :) ;-)
You are important.
I'll leave you with my favorite part of the passage:
"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be." (verse 18).
I find this beautiful and inspiring because it says, "as HE wanted them to be." not as XYZ wanted them to be, but HE. He arranged them all perfectly. You are created perfectly to be who you are, and God created you to be that part, not man, but God (and we know that God is sovereign, so He is in control so it wasn't just random). He loves you very much and has not 'forgotten' about you. You are a vital component to the community of God, and you are wanted, just as you are.
So what does the quote at the beginning have to do with this?
Well, if we start liking who we are, and know what our purpose is, we're less likely to compare ourselves to others because we know who we are and whose we are. We will start realizing how wonderfully different yet similar we really are, and with that aspect, will start to wish well on others and not just ourselves :) It's a road and journey we all take together, so let's celebrate each other! Amen! :) Jesus loves you <3
P.S. Next time you are questioning who you are, remember to go back to the original "Manual", the Maker knows who you are, He created you. Reinforce His truths about you over and over so you won't forget who you are in Christ! Or even better, have a heart-to-heart with Him, and ask Him who you are. ;-)
Any questions? Let me know by writing to me here!
God is omnipresent :) He is everywhere.
It seems like when circumstances change or when we're not in a "good" season we can fail to remember that.
I read something the other day and it made me go: "OHHHH..." *pondering*....
It was the thought that although we blame Adam and Eve for the fall of man (which results to suffering), we too would've eaten from the Tree of Good and Evil. We are not any different, wiser, smarter than they were.....!
ahh....ouch.....you're thinking....haha...so true.
With that said, God loves us very much regardless of what's going on around us or what we did long ago and was passed onto us.
He says, "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to praise His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves." (Ephesians 1:4-6).
This verse says, "in LOVE He predestined us..."
If God despised us, do you think He would've predestined us out of love? No way! He would've said, "they're going to fail me so there's no point!" Instead He said, "No way, I'm doing this out of LOVE and PLEASURE and I want this people to be mine."
The verse also says "with His pleasure". Pleasure is a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. He ENJOYS doing these things.
Think of what you enjoy doing, that's like Him, except a billion times more. He ENJOYS loving you, and BEING with you. He enjoys it (that is to take great delight in and have a pleasant time). So the next time you think you are "bothering" God or any other lie that comes in, say, "No way!! He created me out of love and pleasure and He ENJOYS being with me!!"
You are loved.
From the previous article on how you are set free in Christ, some might have wondered what happened with David. So what happens after David was forgiven for sleeping with Bethsheeba?
We often tell stories and end at the part that appeals to the audience. We definitely like stories where there is a negative dramatic end, but with God, we know that He can turn things around and He is able to do all things!
Like I said before, God forgives us, and praise God that we don't have to bear the weight of our sins. We do however, and at times, have to bear the consequences because it would've affected others or things in our lives.
In 2 Samuel 12: 14 Nathan tells David that his son (whom was to be born from the affair) would die.
David fasted and went to his house. He spent nights lying on the ground.
In our times of restoration, we'll have to spend time on the ground, praying.
Pray to God, and ask Him for forgiveness, to repent, and to restore you.
This is what it means to go humbly before Him, to surrender to Him, to give Him your all.
On the 7th day, the child died.
When in restoration, take it one day at a time.
For David, it took 7 days. For some it will take 1 day, or 7, or 1 month, or even a 6 months to years. Just know that God is with you when you go through the process and that it will come to an end.
Isaiah 43: 2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
David hears this and he gets up from the ground, washes, puts on lotions, and changes his clothes. He goes up to the house of the Lord and he worships.
David worshipped God.
In our times of restoration, we need to come to a place of worship.
Like the post I wrote about Jesus feeding the 5'000, don't fool yourself into thinking that you have all the strength to do it all, or that you need some perfect heart to come to God. Go as you are, and worship Him, give Him all that you have, He'll accept it.
Don't we praise God that He still accepts what we have to offer even though it's not "good enough"? Praise God!
Worship is a place of surrender to God. Don't be fooled with associating worship with outward appearances and this full-on dancing. We all have our days to jump up and down. Just go as you are, and worship, sincerely.
David's servants ask him, "why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!" (2 Samuel 12:21).
David answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.' But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
David decided to walk, after it was all said and done with his child.
When in restoration, what's done is done, accept what's done, and move on, walk. In Jesus' words, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk!"
"David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went with her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, He sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidah (which means Loved by the Lord)." 2 Samuel 12: 24-25
When in restoration, you will be comforted.
You are not alone.
It may seem like you're the only one going through this, but God will comfort you, and He will bring someone/something to comfort you. God is faithful.
"For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones." Isaiah 49:13b
"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever—" John 14:16
When in restoration, God will replace what you lost.
Isaiah 43:18-19a "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!"
The sun will finally come out, and something better will come your way. He is doing a new thing. He might not replace exactly what was lost, but we know that God will provide even greater for you! Amen!
And we all know that the son of David and Bathsheba was Solomon whom they called the wisest man who ever lived, and how among the many nations, there was no king like him.
God can birth something out of "nothing".
"Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed." John 8:36
When I was about 13 years old, my parents gave me money to go rent a video to watch (yup, back when we used VCR's!).
I stopped by the supermarket to maybe get something to eat, but all I remember is that the next thing I did was see some colored gel pens that I liked and decided to take them.
Yes, take them. Not buy them, but take.
I put them in my jacket pocket, and put the packet in the store by the shoe section.
A lady asks me about the empty packet and I tell her I didn't know where the pens were. Being a bad liar, I 'fessed up and gave her the pens.
She took me to the manager and they called my rents.
Of course you know what happened there...
This is like the story of David.
As I read an article I saw sent to my e-mail, I started thinking of my own sins and how far I'd gone in my own sins.
I took a pause, and thought, and then the Lord encouraged me. He told me to read the story of David and Bathsheba.
In 2 Samuel 11, David sees Bathsheba taking a shower and sends his messengers to get her. He sleeps with her. Some time later, Bethsheba tells David that she's pregnant.
Long story short, David slept with a married woman. Her husband had gone off to war to fight in David's army. Trying to hide it all, David tries to deceive Bethsheba's husband by getting him drunk so he could go and sleep with his wife (so he'd think it was his baby), but the plan doesn't work. He then sends a letter where he instructs his military commander to put Bethsheba's husband in the front line of the battle where the fighting would be fiercest (i.e. to have him killed in battle). This plan worked.
In 2 Samuel 12, the Lord sends a prophet named Nathan to tell David that what he did was wrong in the eyes of the Lord. Nathan, however, first tells him a story, so David could really get it:
"The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” (v. 1-6)
Nathan tells David, "You are the man..."
Human judgement said, "the man who did this must die!"
Godly judgement reacts and says, "The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die" 2 Samuel 12: 13b
Aren't we glad that even though we deserve to die for our sins, that we don't?
Human judgement comes in and says, "the man must pay for that lamb four times over." (verse 6)
Godly judgement shows that you don't have to pay. He paid for our penalties.
At 13, the manager at the store told me that he wouldn't tell the police, but that we'd just have to pay the fee for the pens and for stealing.
At that age you feel petrified and it makes you not want to do it again!
Boy was I glad!
Of course I still had to bear the consequence for doing what I did. David had to bear his too, but I was more glad that the fee had been paid for, and I'm sure he was too.
That's what God did for you and me. He paid for our sins.
When the enemy came in to tell us that we were guilty and deserving death, Jesus came in and said, "I'll pay the price. It's been cleared, you don't have to send them anywhere."
Boy am I glad that He died for you and me!
So the next time you feel guilty about what you did, remember that Jesus died for your sins and you have been set free.
Of course we need to repent and ask for forgiveness, but we shouldn't live in that regret and guilt any longer after we've been reprimanded because you've been set free.
After the fact, God is able to restore you completely.
"Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed." -John 8:36
Is a girl who fell deeply in love with Jesus,